CYBERSPEW

Top: Anti-riot police block protesters outside the parliament building in Jakarta, March 2, 2010.

Bottom: A policeman shoots protesters using a paintball gun outside the parliament building in Jakarta, March 2, 2010.

REUTERS photos by Beawiharta

Dylan Moran - What It Is - Live Part 4

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:42:03 +0000

Recorded live in Sydney. 2009 … Dylan Moran What It is Live comedy stand up funny Black Books …

youtube.com

This model walks into a bar, see…

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:19:17 +0000

Lamar, those fashion models are getting uppity. Oh, they’re so full of themselves, with their beauty and glamour, we need to take ‘em down a notch.

Gosh, how do we do that, Boss?

We lower their self-esteem.

Let’s put one of ‘em in lingerie and stiletto heels, send her out on the runway with a big bottle of vodka, and have her ad lib jokes until she’s flat on the floor. She won’t feel so high and mighty then!

Boss! That’s harsh! And what else?

Take some ugly backstage photos. You know, catch a girl puffing on a big old cigarette butt while some beefy tattooed guy messes with her hair. There’s no glamour there! And shoot some of ‘em in grubby bathrobes, smoking and hacking up against a dingy cinder block wall! Heh heh heh…

So, Lamar, it’s been three hours. How’s my plan workin’ out?

Well, I’m no expert, Boss, but you know the one with the stilettos and lingerie and vodka? She seems to have plenty of self-esteem left. Hell, I wish I had half that much….

Top: A model holds a bottle of vodka as she displays a creation by K-Lynn Lingerie during a fashion show held in Faraya Mzaar ski resort, Mount Lebanon, March 6, 2010. REUTERS/Mohamed Azakir

Middle: A model smokes as she gets her hair done during the Cibeles Madrid Fashion Week Fall/Winter 2010 show in Madrid February 23, 2010. REUTERS/Susana Vera

Bottom: A model smokes a cigarette outside the backstage of Elena Miro’ Fall/Winter 2010/11 women’s collection during Milan Fashion Week February 24, 2010. REUTERS/Max Rossi

On the red carpet in designer gowns and Crocs?

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:19:02 +0000

Blog Guy, as a Hollywood media insider AND a fashion blogger, you must come under intense pressure to publicize all the glitzy designer creations worn by celebrities to the Oscars, right?

Boy, I’ll say. Those publicists are very pushy.

So how do you handle the pressure?

Well, I’m basically a nice guy, so I try to help them out. For instance, an e-mail came my way trying to publicize Oscars celebrities wearing Sergio Rossi shoes.

It mentioned Penelope Cruz in black satin platforms, Michelle Pfeiffer in wine satin platforms, Rachel McAdams, Elizabeth Banks, and so on….

I was in a supportive mood, so here are some shots of those women.

But Blog Guy, um, you can’t see shoes on any of them.

What with the long gowns this year, they may as well have been wearing Crocs, huh?

Say, I hope Sergio Rossi had something to do with those great rings Elizabeth Banks is showing off. Now THAT’S some good publicity!

Top left: Penelope Cruz arrives at the Academy Awards in Hollywood, March 7, 2010. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

Top middle: Rachel McAdams arrives at the Awards. REUTERS/Brian Snyder

Top right: Presenter Michelle Pfeiffer take the stage during Awards. REUTERS/Gary Hershorn

Bottom right: Elizabeth Banks shows off her rings as she arrives at the Awards. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

Did you get to the part about the wipers?

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:18:48 +0000

Blog Guy, check out this bizarre photo. What do you suppose is going on here?

Uh-oh. This looks bad. Really bad. Has anybody else seen this picture?

Um, probably millions of people. Why?

If I had to guess, I’d say this is a top-secret consumer group testing the new Apple iPads. These things are supposed to be in stores on April 3, but it looks like there may still be glitches.

Wait a minute, Blog Guy, I have to think an Apple product is gonna perform better than this, a month away from launch.

You’re right. You know what, I bet this is a consumer focus group trying to read the new Toyota Owner’s Manual!

That makes a lot more sense, Blog Guy. I’m sure that’s it. Those poor sad slobs, they never had a chance….

Servicemen of the Belarussian Interior Ministry’s special unit demonstrate their skills during a show in Minsk, February 28, 2010. REUTERS/Vasily Fedosenko

And the coveted Irony Award goes to…

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 03:18:12 +0000

Well, it’s time again for the big prize.

Regular readers know that every year on the day of the Oscars I take advantage of the frothing public interest in awards by presenting my own Irony Award.

That way, a few confused people Googling words like AWARDS and WINNER will wind up here on my blog, by mistake. By the time they figure out how to leave, I’ve got several more pageviews!

This year’s golden statuette, The Ironic Colonic, goes to…the envelope, please…THE CHINESE ARMY, for opening a naval base to visitors and letting them pose with a pistol.

The open house was held to celebrate International Women’s Day. No, I don’t get the connection either, but the big-ass batch of irony shows up in this photo of a woman playing with a gun while wearing a shirt that says:

DON’T THINK AGAIN

RESPONSIBLE DECISIONS

By the way, close inspection shows that the semi-automatic pistol is on a lanyard tied to the table leg, so what’s the worst she could do?

A visitor from China’s Guangdong province poses with a gun during an open day at a People’s Liberation Army naval base in Hong Kong, March 6, 2010. The open day was held to celebrate the upcoming International Women’s Day. REUTERS/Bobby Yip