As some of you know, a string of shark sightings in recent weeks has rattled swimmers in Massachusetts, and is evoking memories of the “Jaws” movie hysteria.

Officials in the Cape Cod town of Chatham have warned beach-goers to stay close to shore after “numerous” sightings of great white sharks.

The town is advising, on its Website, “If a shark is sighted, please get out of the water.”

WHOA! Slow down, I can’t take notes that fast. So you’re saying if I’m actually IN the water, and I see a great white shark, I should go ahead and get OUT, huh?

Thank the Lord I read this, because my plan had been to just avoid making eye contact with the thing.

Who on EARTH is that advice aimed at, and do we really care what happens to them?

Hell, it’s fine with me if somebody that stupid stands in the water wearing a bloody fish parts necklace and blowing a vuvuzela at the top of his lungs.

I have a cynical hunch this warning may be aimed at attracting as many stupid people as possible. They come, spend their vacation money and then they get eaten. It’s the life cycle.

Meanwhile, if you’re too young to remember the 1975 “Jaws” phenomenon, rent the DVD.

Or better yet, just listen to the soundtrack.

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Top: “Jaws” publicity photo

Right: “Jaws” poster

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